Rish Performs "The Concrete Mixer" by Mister Ray Bradbury on Audible

It was exciting to get the contract on this one, to be able to perform a story--any story--by Ray Bradbury during my ill-fated experiment in audiobook narration.  Easily the most recognizable name I've had the pleasure to perform, I'm happy to announce that my reading of "The Concrete Mixer" is now up for sale on Audible.com.

The story was published in 1949, in a pulp magazine, and later republished in Bradbury's collection, "The Illustrated Man."  It tells the story of Ettil, a Martian family man who refuses to participate in his planet's invasion of Earth, as he has read many of our Sci-Fi stories about the disastrous attempts to invade us.  Eventually, he is forced to go along, and lands on Earth, only to find it very different than the world depicted in the magazines.

This story, while amusingly dated, was a pretty audacious condemnation on Post-war America, and seemed more overtly comical than any other Bradbury I've read.  Also, it has a very different ending than the version that ended up in the collection, which alone should make you curious.

The recording can be found at this link : http://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fantasy/The-Concrete-Mixer-Audiobook/B00HETDFHK/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srImg?qid=1388217409&sr=1-1

I did my best on this story, and it was an honor to be able to perform something from the Master of Science Fiction.

Rish Performs "Trick or Treat" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch on Audible

As I may have mentioned, I've been able to perform six stories by Kristine Kathryn Rusch, all for sale on Audible.com.  Five of those have been in the Spade/Paladin Conundrum series, which ends (so far) with this one, "Trick or Treat."

The stories vary in length and seriousness, and this one tells of poor Spade being cajoled into babysitting on Halloween by Paladin, who seems to have an unspoken ulterior motive for shackling him with a teenager dressed as a ghost.

These tales are always filled with geeky references to fan culture, and this one can be found at this link: http://www.audible.com/pd/Mysteries-Thrillers/Trick-or-Treat-Audiobook/B00HETDOAI/ref=a_search_c4_1_2_srTtl?qid=1388217388&sr=1-2

Rish Outfield, Audiobook Lad

The Podcast That Dares Not Speak Its Name 7: Last Minute Shopper

Well, I've had to skip an episode (or four) to get my Christmas show in under the wire.  This was supposed to be the final episode of my solo podcast before I made the switch to the easier* Rish Outcasts.

This one includes a Christmas story (or anti-Christmas story, if you prefer) I wrote called "Last Minute Shopper."  It's fairly short and tells the tale of a reluctant venture into a mall right before the holiday.  Afterward, Sir Fake Sean and I do our worst duet ever, and there's a bit of monologuing by me. 

Hopefully, you'll miss these when they're gone.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Outfield, Podcaster

*Or perhaps I should say "easier," since it's a difference of maybe ten minutes either way.

TGMG Special: The Battle Of The Ideas by B.D. Anklevich - Bootleg Edition

Remember Rish talking about the time we accidentally recorded two episodes for the same story? I think it was the post before this one. Anyway, here's the other version, the other episode. This is the version we recorded all the way back in April. If you're interested, listen to it through, and see how things changed, and how things stayed the same.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

The Tale of Two Podcasts

So, we've been too long without an episode of the Dunesteef, as you probably already know.  We have tried to remedy that, as you may also already know, and there is more than one episode edited and produced just waiting to see the light of day (one by me, and three others by our tireless producers).  But obstacles keep getting in the way of our recording.  Two weeks ago, we got together, and before we could head to Big's house to tape a show, Big's wife called him home to attend to a sick child.  There was the night we chose to watch "Ender's Game" instead of podcasting, and then, the next Monday, we sat down to record, only to find that the keyboard on Big's long-lamented computer had stopped working, and there was no way for him to type in his password to log onto the system.  We had months-overdue lines for Abbie Hilton, and a short story that may qualify as the world's longest to do for Marshal Latham, as well as our own stuff to do, so we borrowed Big's wife's laptop and read off of it until the battery ran out (he couldn't find the cord to plug it in, and it was nearing three am anyway).

So, this week, Big grabbed a spare keyboard to plug into his computer, and we tried our darnedest to get together early to catch up on podcasting.  We've got a new producer who did an episode for us, so we listened to his work, and recorded something to go along with it.  But most of our work was for our next show, which is written by Big, and produced by Bryan Lincoln.  It's a long story, and we listened to Bryan's production of it, which is impressive as always.  Then we sat down and did our usual aftershow banter to put with it.  But . . .

When Big went to save the file, he got an error that there was already a file on his hard drive with that name.

It would seem that, back in April, the night we recorded that story, we also did an episode for it, thinking it would save us time.  But neither Big nor I had any memory of doing that (even though, when I checked my own computer, I too had a copy of that episode from April 2nd), so it saved us no time at all.

In fact, it created something of an additional difficulty.  I am loathe to throw anything away, and though Big suggested I make some sort of Doctor Mephesto hybrid of the two shows, I decided to go ahead and edit them both, and make both of them available to the listeners.  The one we recorded in November will be the "Official" release that goes out on our feed and such, but the one from April will be our "Bootleg" version that, I don't know, goes out to donators, or maybe shows up on this blog page or something.

Regardless, I hope some of y'all will be happy to see that we've got a new episode coming out, and another one in the can beyond that. 

Peace,

Rish Outfield, Drummer - Ank Oatfield

Rish Performs "Very Superstitious" on Audible.com

Sometimes, when someone produces a Dunesteef episode for us where I'm the narrator, and I think the reading is particularly strong, it's hard to know if the story is extraordinarily good, or if it's just me, and I'm a demigod among audiobook readers.  It's an occupational hazard, I suppose.

Derek Palmer's story "Double Vision" was the first story we ran on our show, back when we didn't know that you had to do sound removal, and that making an edited mp3 of an mp3 and then saving it as an mp3 would degrade the quality.  But I still like that story, and would like to do it again, if someone told me I had suddenly gained thirty extra years on my lifespan or something.  We've done a couple other stories by that author, including the one everybody hated.  I hope he took that better than I did.

So, here I am, doing a reading on Audible of one of his stories.

"Very Superstitious" is a story about a teenage girl, Ally, who is so out of control that her mother sends her to New Mexico* to stay with her backward, religious cousins and their strict, conservative parents.  She balks at the silly rules in the household, like not watching television on Sunday, never showing their underwear, and leaving reeds outside the house so the Bice, a sort of boogeyman, will leave their daughters alone.  Religious people are so stupid and backward.

Except, it turns out, that there are others in town that also believe in the Bice.  Non-religious people.

I like this story a lot.  It's hard to talk about this one objectively, but there were a couple of moments I found pretty friggin' scary, and if that makes me sound like a self-serving corporate tool, then I'm making progress in life.

Here's the link http://www.audible.com/pd/Teens/Very-Superstitious-Audiobook/B00FSSK6K8/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1384228938&sr=1-1 if you'd like to go over there and pick up that one, and I'd be (hestitantly) interested in your thoughts on it.

Rish Outfield, Bice Hunter

*Maybe she was from New Mexico and they sent her somewhere else, I'm not sure.

That Gets My Goat 124: The Dork World

A couple of days after ENDER'S GAME, Big and Rish got together to watch (and talk about) THOR: THE DARK WORLD. It's possible that Rish has finally found a movie with nothing to complain about.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 123: The Enemy's Podcast Is Down

So, instead of podcasting, Big and Rish saw ENDER'S GAME. They say a few words about it, with plenty of movie and book spoilers. Unfortunately, they neglect to talk about stuff other than the movie and book. Sorry.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "The Karnikov Card" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch on Audible

So, Rish has another Kristine Rusch story to promote.  It's called "The Karnikov Card," and it tells of sf convention sleuth Spade's encounter with a huge movie star, who turns out to also be a pretty huge villain.  This is number four in the Spade/Paladin series, with one more forthcoming.

Rish says these Spade stories get a bit easier to do with each one, either because of practice or familiarity.  It's probable they'll end up collected in a larger book someday, and it will be interesting to see if they sell more copies due to that.

You can "Karnikov" here: http://www.audible.com/pd/Mysteries-Thrillers/The-Karnikov-Card-Audiobook/B00GC5BX5I/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1383932079&sr=1-1

That Gets My Goat 122: The Fourteenth Night of Halloween

Big wants to thank you. For giving him the best da-ay of his life.

So, he and Rish sit down and do one extra episode of their marathon, dedicated to those who donated during the drive.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

A Couple of Rish Outfield Stories To Plug

Rish here.

I have been encouraged, for more 'n a year now, to share some of my stories on Smashwords, which is a website like Amazon, but dedicated solely to books and stories.  As you know, it's hard for me to find the backbone to put my writing up to be judged, but I did manage to stick up a couple of my works there recently, and I guess I will now take a moment to plug a couple of them.

I thought it would be wise to put a few of my stories on there for free, especially if they had appeared before, like on my blog or a flash fiction site.  However, both Dean Wesley Smith and Heath Ledger's Joker suggest that if you do something well, you never do it for free.  As far as I know, only one of those two is considered insane.

TWO FREE STORIES

1.  "A Slight Delay"  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/371828
For an airline passenger, an unexpected wait on the tarmac takes a turn for the strange.
I wrote this as a gag on the message boards when folks were talking about things that are and aren't scary.  Much like my moth story, I tried to come up with a scenario (however bizarre) where a man in a bunny costume could be frightening.

2.  "The Awful Tale of the Minnesota Diarrhea Ghost"  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/368531
In this tiny tale, Grandpa sits down his two grandsons and tells them just enough about the Minnesota Diarrhea Ghost.
This really was a joke, written in a series of IMs to try and make Big Anklevich laugh.
It did not work.

TWO UNFREE STORIES

1.  "Office Visit."  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/362484
Genie and Sally are two young girls living in a small American town, not too long ago.  When a new dentist moves into town, people begin to behave strangely about him, causing the girls to become suspicious.  Nothing ominous could happen in their peaceful little home, could it?
This is a story I wrote a decade back, and very nearly got podcasted by a horror site in 2011.  It's pretty likely it will end up airing in Full Cast on the Dunesteef soon, but here's your chance to read it first.

2.  "Say Uncle."  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/376129
Uncle Cal is driving his two year old nephew around, when the boy begins speaking in full sentences. Somehow little Alex is the messenger of adult Alex, in an unpleasant future that, just maybe, can be averted.
I wrote this story earlier this year, with the express purpose of doing it on our show.  Due to a number of obstacles, that has not (yet) happened, but it may still work in text, right? 

Most of these stories can also be found on Amazon.com, though they (like Dean Wesley Joker) seem to have a problem with giving stories away for free.  I've also put a slightly rewritten version of "On Dusty Wings" up there, trying to fix the plotholes that seemed apparent when read aloud.  That's at this link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/366914

Enjoy?

Rish Outfield, Story Peddler

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween: Outtakes

If you've ever wondered what gets left on the cutting room floor, well Rish Outfield spared no expense to make sure you get to find out. Here's is a wonderful little compilation of everything off the cutting room floor. You thought I was exaggerating, I'm not. It's everything.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 13: Knights of Hallowe'en

In this show, Rish talks to Big about . . . the world not being what you thought it was.  More or less, that's the topic.  And it looks like we've reached the end of another TGMG marathon. Hope you enjoyed it.

If so, feel free--nay, more than free, feel mildly pressured--to donate to the show.

Happy Hallereen!



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 12: On Dusty Wings Afterward

So, somehow Rish dares show his face (or his voice, anyway) after that last show. What motivated him to write this story, and does he know how bad it is?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 11: "On Dusty Wings" by Rish Outfield

As foretold by dark scripture, Rish shares another of his unscary stories, "On Dusty Wings," written uniquely for this show. Big narrates, Rish says one word. You've been warned.

One point to whomever can reveal where Rish got his title.

Two points to whomever can first name Rish's one word.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 10: The Creeping Things

Boy, have we got a treat for you!  Or is it a trick?  A giant-sized episode all about creeping, pinching, crawling, buzzing, stinging, annoying, biting, sucking, foashing, scary things.

So, you know Big and Rish have a revulsion for cockroaches. But what about other bugs, insects, arachnids, crustaceans, arthropods, and creatures they don't know the proper names for?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 9: Ghosts of a Chance

In this installment of our daily podcast, Rish brings up the subject of ghosts. Who ain't 'fraid of them? Big tells of his belief/disbelief in ghosts, and Rish recounts his only ever ghost hunt.

For a change, only 2% of this episode is a lie. Not bad, really.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 8: My Daughter's Balloon's Afterward

Rish talks with Big about the story we read yesterday, "My Daughter's Balloon," and how it came about.

And then, we talk about effed-up names. Now that's scary.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 7: "My Daughter's Balloon" by B.D. Anklevich

All right! They said it couldn't be done, but B.D. Anklevich has not only written a story, but it's recorded and ready to share with you. Its title . . . "My Daughter's Balloon." Enjoy.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 6: Trick Or Treat

After yesterday's episode, Big and Rish discuss the Halloween tradition of trick or treating. Ad nauseum.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 5: S***y Candy

Because you demanded it! Somebody out there suggested Rish and Big talk about . . . lousy candy. So let's.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 4: Jason Statham Movies

Nothing says the Halloween season like a nice, spooky Jason Statham movie, does it?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 3: Don't They Know It's the End of the World

Big picks the scary topic for this evening: the Apocalypse.

Please, tip your waitresses, while you still can.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: 13 Nights of Halloween 2: What's That Sound?

Everybody look what's goin' down.

In tonight's episode, Big and Rish will talk. Big surprise. Crickets. The noise crickets make. The other sound.

And would Big eat crickets? Mmmmm.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat: The 13 Nights of Halloween 2013

Once upon a time, long before there was a Dunesteef (or That Gets My Goat), before Taylor Swift had ever written a song about an ex-boyfriend, Big Anklevich bought a computer. That computer is now a doddering, confused shell of what it once was, and needs to be put to pasture.

So, here we are again, with thirteen daily podcasts, hoping that it will encourage somebody like you to donate and help Big buy a new computer.

In case you were not listening last year, Rish and Big will be back each evening talking about a Halloween-related (or spooky) topic, and will present two short stories of our own making, hopefully before the 31st.

Wish us luck.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 121: Agents of S.T.E.E.F.

Big and Rish discus the new Marvel Cinematic Universe-set Joss Whedon show, "Agents of SHIELD." They talk about the characters, the first two episodes, and make a special announcement about what's next.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

The Podcast That Dares Not Speak Its Name 5: The Signalman

Rish here. It has been many months since I put out an episode of my original solo podcast, the one which should not be named aloud. It's been so long that I can't remember if I used to post them here or just send them out to Dunesteef subscribers.

But, I recorded these before I ever had my Rish Outcast, so I need to release them somewhere. In this one, I perform and discuss Charles Dickens's "The Signalman." Hilarity does not ensue.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 120: Cruel Summer

Wow, we've got ourselves something like a triple episode this time around!  First, Rish expresses displeasure with the anti-texting PSAs currently on the radio.  Then Big tells about the trials and tribulations of Summer 2013.  Then Rish attempts to make his own misfortune sound comparable.  Hilarity ensues?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "Stomping Mad" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch on Audible.com

Another of the short stories Rish has recorded is available for sale. This one is "Stomping Mad (A Spade Conundrum)" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch. The man known only as Spade has an unpleasant encounter with the woman who's known as the Martha Stewart of Sci-Fi, a woman he despises, but someone else (apparently) despises even more.

Check it out here: http://www.audible.com/pd/Mysteries-Thrillers/Stomping-Mad-Audiobook/B00FKGVAFI/ref=sr_1_3?qid=1380783704&sr=1-3
This is the first story Ms. Rusch wrote (or published) with the Spade character in it (back in 1997), a sort of sf convention detective who solves mysteries in the unique environment of fan conventions.  This is the third of four of these stories Rish has recorded, and Ms. Rusch has apparently written a fifth one that is forthcoming.  With a little energon and a lot of luck, Rish'll tackle that one too.

 Rish Outfield

Big 'n Rish's Broken Mirror collection "Pretty Ugly" available for sale

This has certainly been a month to remember.  Big spent it homeless, crashed his car, kicked his dog, finally moved into his new house, and also achieved another of his goals.  Like Rish's story, "The Calling," Big now has something for sale up on Amazon.*

The first thing available of ours to buy is a collection of two stories, in a "Pretty Ugly" package.  It's the premiere installment in what we're calling our Broken Mirror Stories collection, where we each present a story with the same basic premise (not just similar to our bi-annual contest, but the inspiration for it).  This one is based on the idea of an unattractive girl becoming suddenly attractive.

Big's story, "The Mirror Sometimes Lies," is about a girl at a party who meets a strange woman who changes the way people see her.  The Outfield tale, "The Ugly Table," follows a couple of high school friends who observe some of their fellow students looking better than they did the day before.  It also includes a little introduction (similar to this one) and an afterward by Rish Outfield (also similar to this), telling of the stories' origins and promising/threatening more.

Big uses the name B.D. Anklevich, and while Rish considered using his stage name, Zeppo the Wonder Dildo, Gino Moretto convinced him otherwise.  Oh, and Gino did the cover art for us, bless his black heart.

Here be yon link: http://www.amazon.com/Pretty-Broken-Mirror-Stories-ebook/dp/B00ESYUYPU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1377710120&sr=1-1

As before, we appreciate anybody (who wants to) buying the stories, and any encouragement or suggestions as to what to do next.

Rish n' Big, Story Peddlers

*And if it's anything like Rish's experience, it'll now be all the easier to start putting more writing up.

TGMG 119: Why Can't You Let It Go? (featuring BATFLECK!)

Okay, last time.  This is your brain.  This is Rish Outfield's brain on MAN OF STEEL.

After Rish's own mother betrayed him on this, it is time to ask the titular question.  Also, Big and Rish talk about Ben Affleck, the Batman this city deserves.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "The Backworlds" on Audible.com

I recently finished production on a Science Fiction novel, "The Backworlds," by M. Pax.  It's a fun story about spacefaring adventure, that's a bit like a Heinlein book, and a bit like "Firefly."  Craze, the son of a bar owner, is forced to go out alone into the galaxy to make his fortune.  He meets up with some fellow travelers, some who are immediately friendly, some who seek to take advantage of his inexperience.  He has an adventure or two, hoping for a big break that will make him rich, and more importantly, prove his father wrong about him.

The story ends with a pretty solid grouping of characters, all setting out together for more adventure, and I found myself disappointed to discover that was the end.  Luckily, this was just the first book in a series (as they all are), and presumably, more fun is to be had.

Here's the link: http://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fantasy/The-Backworlds-Audiobook/B00F3JRSEE/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1379192882&sr=1-1  If this sells, you never know, Ms. Pax may ask me to narrate another.  If this sells a lot, the money will be nice, but more importantly, it will prove my father wrong about me.

Rish Outfield

That Gets My Goat 118: He's All Yours, Bounty Hunter

In response to a listener question, Big and Rish attempt to figure out why Star Wars fans love Boba Fett so much. 



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Note: After this conversation, I did some reading, and the original ESB script by Leigh Brackett, featured Boba Fett much more extensively.  His role was curtailed significantly when Lawrence Kasdan wrote his version.

Triple Words Scored

Today, I got word from Sudden Death Nicole that all of the stories from our Triple Word Score contest have been evaluated and scored.  Yes, the whole thing was waiting on me, but there were a hell of a lot of stories to go through.

She has tallied the points up and compiled some kind of spreaded sheet with the scores on it.  So, Big and I will have to lay this sheet out on a desk (or on a floor if it's a bedsheet rather than a sheet of paper) and look it over.  When we do, we'll decide how many of the stories to run on the show, and start handing them out to producers to put together.*

I may come back here and reveal the number of stories forthcoming in this post, but I may also forget.  Regardless, thanks to all the judges that read and graded the thirty-something stories, and thanks as always to Nicole, for being our long suffering submissions editor.  If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have an episode for you this month.

Oh, wait a minute . . .

Rish

*If you are a producer (or a would-be producer) and would like to take one of the stories, let us know over at editor (at) dunesteef (dot) com.  Remember, these are all two thousand words or less.

What The Hell Do You Know!

Last award! And the winner for Best Speculative Fiction Story: Large Cast is....."The Road to Utopia Plain" by Rick Kennett! #ParsecAwards

— The Parsec Awards (@parsecawards) September 1, 2013

Rish Outcast 2: Subtext

As promised/threatened, here is the first "actual" episode of my solo podcast, essentially designed for me to read one of my stories, then talk about it. It's basically a much more stripped-down version of The Podcast That Dares Not Speak Its Name, which has two more forthcoming episodes, but since I haven't worked on them since February (or earlier), they are distantly forthcoming.

In this episode of the Outcast, I present the extended, full version of my story "Subtext," about the text messages from a dead girl's phone. It has been seen, here and there, in a 500 word edit.

Afterward, I talk about the tale, its point, and the one champion of it over the years.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 13: Answering Listener Questions (Part III)

All worst things must come to an end, kids, and to finish up this daily drudgery, Big and Rish answer the rest of their listener questions. Have a nice nap afterward, okay?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 12: The Ever-Inspiring Fat Man

In a new, exciting environment, Rish tells Big about the last panel he went to, that of Kevin Smith's Q&A.  Was he excited and inspired like he was in 2011, or depressed like he was in 2012?  Which are you?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Evah 11: Future Home of the Dunesteef

In this episode, we change it up a bit, as Big sneaks Rish into what will someday be his new house.  They sit down on the floor of what will be the Dunesteef's new HQ, the currently unoccupied study, and talk about the new house. 

Warning: Midnight lawnmowing.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish's story "White House Tour" in the Masters of the Macabre contest

Wow, this week has been pretty amazing for links to stories and readings.  And my man-crush Ben Affleck got cast as Batman too.  I really must have pleased the Fates somehow.  Next, Disney will announce they've changed their the title of FROZEN back to THE SNOW QUEEN.  Or at least LEE DANIEL'S FROZEN, BASED ON THE BOOK THE SNOW QUEEN WRITTEN BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON.  Either one is better.

So, as you probably know, every year I enter the "Masters of the Macabre" contest over at the Horror Addicts website.  It's a short story contest wherein there’s an overall topic, and specific details given to each participant. 

This is the third one I've done, and its theme was Hauntings, a subject fraught with Horror possibilities.  They gave me the location of The White House, and an instruction to put An Unopened Letter From 1842 in there.  It could only be ten minutes long, so I figured the tale had to be pretty simplistic.  I thought I’d write about a paranormal investigator, or a ghost expert, who goes to the White House to see if there’s any truth to the haunting stories there.
 
I stayed up one night researching the haunting of the White House, and it turns out people way back in the 1800’s claimed to see or hear ghosts there, and various Presidents and civilians have been sighted there ever since. 

But because the story had to be so short, I ignored the tale I was going to write, and simply summed up the character's backstory.  As a boy of ten, he went on a White House tour, and heard about the ghostly sightings.  Even that was hard to sum up in ten minutes.   

I recorded the story, which I creatively called "White House Tour," and once again had my niece voice the part of a kid (I honestly don't know if that makes the listening experience better or worse, but I like it when kids are used instead of adults).  Even that version ended up a couple of minutes too long, but I managed to get it (right around) the correct length.

Here's the link to the aired episode: http://horroraddicts.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/horroraddicts-net-093-masters-of-macabre-contest/
 
In a recent That Gets My Goat, I spoke to Big about missing the deadline for submitting this tale, and how it was the sort of stupid mistake I've made all my life, but it turns out there weren't a lot of participants in this year's contest, and they extended the deadline for a few days, so everyone could get theirs in. 

Everyone, in the end, turned out to be three.
 
They've also included the text of the story at this link: http://horroraddicts.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/mmm-contestant-1-rish-outfield/.  If you prefer to read it, there it is, all for free.  All for you, Damien.
 

Rish Outfield, Addict
 
P.S. I did a lengthy write-up about this year's contest a month or two back, which you can check out on my personal blog (if you like).  There I talk about the process and tell you what I really think of the story I wrote (on second thought, maybe you shouldn't check it out).  In there, I said I wouldn't ask our fans to vote for me, and I'm doing the same here.  But I am asking them to go over there, listen to the three stories, and have a good time.  All the stories are short, and feel free to vote for your favorite.  It's your right as an Earthman or woman.

Worst Marathon Ever 10: A Simply Marvelous Panel

Wow, we've got to be be nearing the end of this, don't we?  Rish talks (and gets interrupted) about the Marvel Studios panel at San Diego Comic-Con 2013.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish & Big Perform "Call of the Pancake Factory" on the Drabblecast

After a lengthy absence, Norm over at the Drabblecast recently bribed us to narrate a story for his show.  I would've done it for nothing, and for a crappy story, but the tale, "The Call of the Pancake Factory" by Ken Liu, turned out to be a blast.

It's part of his Lovecraft month, and tells of a representative of a very famous theme park who encounters cultists with a very unique theme park of their own.  It's clever, funny, and did not go where I expected it to.  It also marks the first recording we've made since Big entered his Homeless phase.*

Thanks to Norm Sherman for the invitation, and thanks to you, loyal listener of strange stories (for the invitation to crash on your couch).  Check the episode out here.

I can't guarantee you'll enjoy it as much as I did, but if you don't . . . I'll refund your money.

Rish 'n Big n' A.M.

*And, it turns out, it is also the last recording we made before Rish entered his Nudist phase.

Worst Marathon Ever 9: Josh Weldon Is My Master Now

So, back to Rish talking about Comic-Con.  In this episode, he preaches to the converted, telling Big how cool Joss Whedon is.  And tired.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 8: Huge Ackman

Just in case you weren't already sick of these daily episodes, Rish tells Big more about his trip to Comic-Con, this time talking about Fox's Wolverine and X-men panel. And at least one bad joke is made about Hugh Jackman's unfortunate name.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish's story "The Calling" available on Amazon.com

So, despite coming up with a dozen reasons not to, I actually listed something for sale on Amazon.  I'd been trying to build up the gumption for months, even going so far as creating a seller account, and almost uploading one of my favorite stories no one has ever read (I may still do that, someday).  But I let things like not having cover art (and cowardice) get in the way.

But all the response to my Broken Mirror story "The Calling" on the Dunesteef really encouraged me.  I sat down and incorporated a couple of the suggested changes into the tale, and went ahead and listed the text for sale on Amazon.

If you heard it on the Dunesteef, it's the same story about a family that believes itself charged to slay demons in human form, but it has a change or two, including the ending.  Here's the link: www.amazon.com/The-Calling-ebook/dp/B00ENMZIGC

It's my plan to do this many times, and make little collections of my stories, if I can overcome the cover art problem.  And if anybody out there buys it, maybe I'll do it faster.

Rish Outfield, Aspiring Bookseller

Worst Marathon Ever 7: Answering Listener Questions (Part II)

Taking a break from the Comic-Con conversation, Big and Rish answer a couple of questions.  A month or three back, Rish asked folks to send us their questions, but time ran out the last time we started to answer them.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "Open 28 Hours" on Cast of Wonders

I recently got to do a reading of Darin Ramsey's "Open 28 Hours" short story over at the Cast o' Wonders podcast.  They're good people over there.

It tells the tale of a convenience store clerk on an obscure spacedock, and the stressful day he has, with customers of all shapes and sizes.  It was quite amusing, and though it has somehow been classified as YA fiction, I'll try not to hold that against it.

Check it out here: http://www.castofwonders.org/2013/08/18/ep-91-open-28-hours-by-darin-ramsey/

Worst Marathon Ever 6: Han Solo Meets Indiana Jones (SDCC)

Uh oh, Rish went to Comic-Con again, and he can't shut up about it.  Again.  This time, he talks about the ENDER'S GAME panel.  Big and Rish talk about their perception of the movie version versus the book version . . . and that other thing.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 5: The Smells of Comic-Con

Rish had just returned from the San Diego Comic-Con, and attempted to regale Big with tales of his adventures there.  Ants, sweat, and a foul stench ensues.

Warning: Screaming and explosions.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 4: Why More Why Ay?

Okay, last time.  Rish asks the musical question why authors can't write just a single book anymore.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 3: Why, Why Ay, Why?

In this next installment of Big and Rish's most awful podcast run yet, Rish continues to criticize the Y.A. book he's read, and ask the hard questions, such as "Does a love triangle make stupid people like your book?"



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 2: Why Why Ay?

That's "Y.A.," to you.

I this second daily episode of That Gets My Goat, Rish has questions about the Y.A. genre, and plenty of complaints.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Worst Marathon Ever 1: The Olaves, the Espindolas

Big and Rish kick off this marathon of That Gets My Goat episodes with Big talking about something from sports radio that really chaps his hide.  Oddly, this subject will come up again and again . . . for the rest of his life.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG: WME

Starting tomorrow, the marathon begins.  The Worst Marathon Ever, that is.

So, despite having less time than usual, Rish and Big sat down for a few hours to record a series of daily episodes. They talk about various topics, including YA books, sports talk, San Diego Comic-Con, listener questions, Big's new house, and Rish's new master. Enjoy?

Rish Performs "Pandora's Box" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch on Audible.com

I performed "The Case of the Vanishing Boy" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch a couple of months back, which was the first "Spade/Paladin Connundrum" I recorded.  It had Spade, the rotund Science Fiction convention detective, helping the lovely Paladin find a teen runaway.  It can be found here, if you like: http://www.audible.com/pd/ref=sr_3_9?asin=B00CA4P784&qid=1376585839&sr=3-9

And this week, a second story, "Pandora's Box," has been made available.  In this one, Paladin has apparently made an impression on some crazy person, who promises to send a bomb to an SF convention, to either kill her or impress her, it's hard to say.  Spade once again teams up with her to take care of the problem.  It's now available for purchase at this link: http://www.audible.com/pd/ref=sr_1_2?asin=B00EILQPZ6&qid=1376584740&sr=1-2

This was a really easy read, and practically headache-free, so I went ahead and signed on for another. 
I make almost nothing off these little stories.  But they are well-written, uniquely geeky, and every little bit helps.

Rish Outfield, Audiobook Narrator