Sunday, April 23, 2017

Rish Narrates "Feeding Malachi" by Abigail Hilton

Rish here.  One time, Abbie told me she had written a series of children's books.  I was quite impressed.  To impress her back, I told her I once wrote an Eighties Slasher movie script called "Sorority House Butchery."*  But a year later, she asked me if I wanted to narrate the series.

And hey, book one in the Eve and Malachi series, "Feeding Malachi," is available now on Audible!

It tells the story of a curious young rat who escapes her cage and goes exploring, discovering another cage belonging to a funny creature called Malachi, who is all tail and a big head with a flicking tongue.  Oh, and she also discovers what Malachi eats.**

I've never written a childrens book (or narrated one), but it was fun, quick, and I'd be happy to share them with my own children.  If they could stand to listen to my voices, that is.


*Which was patently untrue.  I only started it.

**Spoiler . . . it's tofu.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

That Gets My Goat 193: March Report

So, after writing every single day in February, Big doubled his writing goal for March.  Rish, unwilling to stay behind (it's dark and creepy back here), went along with it as well.  How did they do?

Warning: contains comments from California Rish Outfield and Hollywood Big Anklevich.

Download the file by Right-Clicking the link here.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Rish Narrates "Awake" by Abigail Hilton

The first book I performed for Abbie Hilton was "Hunters Unlucky," a sprawling Epic Fantasy novel about the warring species of sentient animals on an island and their history.

I was happy to hear she had written a follow-up, "Awake," for her Patreon followers (did I mention I have a Patreon account now?  Oh . . . well, I will).  It takes place a year after "Hunters" ends and picks up with several of the characters' lives.

I must admit that I found it quite a challenge to a) remember the voices I gave to each of these characters and b) keep them straight in my narration, especially when they were speaking to one another.*  There were two new characters, so those voices were easy.

What's kind of remarkable about this story--actually, there's two things. The first is, that the main character of "Hunters Unlucky" doesn't appear in "Awake." He's referenced, but it focuses on other characters. The remarkable thing I wanted to mention, though, is that it deals, in bold terms, with lifelong enemies somehow not only becoming allies . . . but friends. The characters I initially took to be The Bad Guys when I first read "Hunters Unlucky" all have their own morality, their own positive qualities . . . their own heroic qualities, and this is on clear display here, where the main character of "Awake" is one of those beings I found most unknowable and alien in the larger book.

Hilton manages all this--as well as giving little updates as to what's going on with the other characters from the book--in very few words, and what seems to me to be effortlessness.

If that is a word.

Anyway, check it out, if ye like, at this link.

Or you can pick it up here on Audible . . . but it does cost a little more.  Or nothing, if you've got one of those subscription things.

Plus, here's my Patreon link.

Rish "I Dunno, I'm Just The Narrator" Outfield

*Abbie must have anticipated this, because along with the manuscript, she sent along portions of the audiobook where I voiced those characters, so I wouldn't have to guess what they sounded like (or worse, try and find my original notes somewhere on my hellishly cluttered desk).

Sunday, March 26, 2017

TGMG 192: Old Man Dunesteef

Big and Rish go to see LOGAN, the final Wolverine movie starring Huge Ackman.

And they're still sad.

Download this'n by Right-Clicking the link here.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Rish Performs "Caveat Emptor..." on Far Fetched Fables

Friends, Far-Fetched Fables is a fabulous farm of fascinating fact, fiction, and folly, follow?

FFF is a podcast that puts out short stories, mostly Fantasy, every every single week.  I don't know how they do it, but hey, I can do a story for them when they ask.

This time, they asked me to narrate "Caveat Emptor, Caveat Venditor" by Edward Ahern.

It's about a wizard named Harald, who--

That's right, Harald.  Oh kids, I had a bugger of a time recording this one, with almost constant repetitions of "said Harold sadly, as he--  I mean, said Harald sadly..."  And even then, about one of every five Harolds I forgot to correct, and I had to decide whether it sounded enough like Harald to get by, or whether I had to rerecord the line.

Anyway, Harald is a failed warlock who teams up with a failed demon, in an attempt to change his stars.  There's some mental telepathy between a human and a supernatural thrall, so I got to play with the audio a bit (and we've got a story coming on the 'steef with a very similar premise).  You can listen to the story at this link!

Friday, March 17, 2017

In Honor of the Least-Necessary Remake Ever

As you may know, the remake of 1991's BEAUTY & THE BEAST comes out today.  So, in "honor" of that, let me repost a certain song from a couple years back.  I guarantee, in this at least, there's no Autotune.


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

TGMG 191: You Got the Write Stuff, Baby

Rish 'n Big went to their annual local writers conference, and come out rarin' to go. 

Except Big was already rarin' to go.  Remember California Rish?  Well, meet Hollywood Big.

And yes, that's a New Kids on the Block reference.  If you recognized it, then you are (also) old.

Download this fugger by Right-Clicking the link here.