TGMG 165: Supergirl, You'll Be A Woman Soon

Big and Rish both saw the "Supergirl" pilot, and want to talk about it.  Warning: the S-word may be spoken . . .  just don't tell the lawyers.

You can Right Click HERE and select Save Link As, to save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG 164: There Can Be Only One Highlander

Here's a blast from the past: it's a Dunesteef On The Move! Back in January 2014, Big sat down and watched HIGHLANDER, then Big and Rish took a drive to Las Vegas and talked about it. It's not a long episode; you can force yourself to make it through. Come on, you owe us that much.

You can Right Click HERE and select Save Link As, to save the file to your hard drive.

Big Narrates "The Last Bombardment" on Pseudopod

Big's got a cool, disturbing story on the newest Pseudopod, "The Last Bombardment" by Kenneth Schneyer. It's really effed up. It's a shorty, part of one of their "Flash on the Borderlands" events. So, you get two other stories as well. Enjoy!

Here's the link!

Rish Performs "The Fox Bride" on Podcastle

Podcastle is a big shot in podcasting circles, so I'm always happy to narrate a story or two for them.  The most recent one was "The Fox Bride," by Mari Ness.

This was an odd tale that felt like it was a metaphor for something (luckily, I'm too thick to get any subtext in pieces like this), about a young prince who gets married off to a fox.  If he can get the fox to transform into a girl, then he'll live happily ever after . . . if not, well, there are other princes.

It can be found at THIS LINK.

Rish's Voice in "Night Delivery" on Campfire Radio Theater

Lucky me, I was approached to be the voice of the main character in John Ballentine's new episode of Campfire Radio Theater "Night Delivery," and having so enjoyed voicing Old Jim on "R.I.P." last year, I was happy to sign on.  It felt not so much as a character, but as if I was playing a version of myself.

I play Dustin James, who gets a job as a radio DJ in the 1980's, when he discovers there might be something weird going on with his late night shift, or maybe the radio station itself.  He meets a beautiful young woman, and at one point gets a stack of records with a warning on them: Do not play backwards.   Three guesses as to what he does next.

Check it out at this here LINK, or go to Campfireradiotheater dot Podbean and listen to them all (like I did).

That Gets My Goat 163: Comic-Con 2015 Recap

After missing it last year, Rish tried extra hard to get to San Diego for Comic-Con this year. Was this year any different?

You can Right Click HERE and select Save Link As, to save the file to your hard drive.

Image courtesy posixeleni.

Pretty Exciting Stuff

Best Speculative Fiction Story: Large Cast (Short Form) - "Last Contact" by Rish Outfield and Bigg Anklevich

— The Parsec Awards (@parsecawards) September 6, 2015

I think the best part about it is we not only put together the show but we also got it for a story that we wrote ourselves. And better yet, this story beat out our other nomination that was a story written by Rish alone. Just goes to show that we are better as a team...right? That is what it shows, right? Someone please agree...

Congrats to all involved. Especially Clay Dugger who produced the episode.

Rish Performs "The Wood of Ephraim" On Far-Fetched Fables

Gary Dowell over at "Far-Fetched Fables" keeps handing me projects to narrate.  I don't know if a lot of people listen to his show, but I'm sure it's significantly more than those listening to mine.  I told him I would do any story as long as it was as good as "The Secret To Catching Rabbits," and he sent me this one, called "The Wood of Ephraim" by Edward M. Erdelac.

Erdelac wrote something that, in my experience, is totally unique.  It is a Biblical horror story.  I remember, a few years back, Big and I got to work on what I believe was an episode of "The Way of the Buffalo" which was basically a horror tale about a malevolent Jesus Christ (like the one in Carrie White's little prayer/punishment room).  That's the closest thing I can think of to "Woods of Ephraim."

It's a scary tale with a bunch of Biblical names about the death of Absalom, the son of King David, and the army that is pursuing him.  The tale begins with the ominous scripture 2 Samuel 18:8: "For the battle was there spread over the face of all the country, and the forest devoured more people that day than the sword."  That's pretty fitting, actually.

The names were a challenge, and I really might have done a better job separating the characters into different voices, but what are you gonna do?

Anyway, I dug it, and here's the link.

Rish's Voice in "The Black Bird" on Journey Into...

Rish here.  I have to admit, when I got a message from Marshal Latham that my work on "The Black Bird" could be heard over on his podcast . . . I had no idea what he was talking about.  Had I recorded a story for him so long ago that I no longer had any memory of it?  What is this, Starship Sofa?

But going over to "Journey Into..." reminded me.  David Barr Kirtley did a sort of mash-up of "The Raven" and THE MALTESE FALCON, and Marshal had asked me if I'd voice Sam Spade.*  I'm always happy to a) help out on other podcasts, and b) try new voices, so I sent the lines over, promptly forgetting it had ever happened.  Chalk it up either to early-onset dementia, or middle age a-hole-ism, I don't know which.

Anyway, check it out over at this very link, and enjoy!

Rish

*He later had me re-voice it because I sounded so whiny and obnoxious.  I didn't dare tell him that I had somehow mistakenly voiced the character as David Spade the first time through.

Rish Performs "The Secret To Calling Rabbits" on Far-Fetched Fables

This is a good one, folks.  A lot of times, I'm given a story to narrate for another show, and I sort of shrug whilst reading it, or sometimes I don't understand the story, and every once in a while, I'm handed something that is Not Ready For Prime Time, if you will.  But not this one.

"The Secret To Calling Rabbits" by Wendy Wagner is such a great story, I would've done it for free!

Oh, wait.

Well, I certainly would've fought to get this thing on the Dunesteef, if it had come across our door.  It's an interesting, sad tale about the last dwarf in the world, and his encounter with a little Big (human) girl.  And it's better than anything I could write, I fear.

Here is the link to the story over at Far-Fetched Fables.

Still, I'd like to think I brought something to the table with my reading.  If you don't like my voice, though, then you can listen to someone else read it at this link.  After you go eff yourself, of course.

Rish Outfield, Rabbit Caller

That Gets My Goat 162: FlaShield Season Wrap-ups

Since Big and Rish are (ostensibly) writing novels this summer, here's another sorely-out-of-date episode. Having watched all of "The Flash"'s first season, and all of "Agents of SHIELD"'s second, they talk about both of them, especially the season finales. Spoilers overflow.

You can Right Click HERE and select Save Link As, to save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 161: (R)Ant Men

Again, a little too late to do anyone any good, Big and Rish talk about Marvel's latest release, ANT-MAN. Even though the movie wasn't (technically) a sequel to AVENGERS 2...this episode is.

Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG 160: The Tipping Point

So, Big has lots of money to eat out on vacations.  But how much of that money should go to tips?  Is it okay not to tip, or does Rish just lack empathy?



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Image courtesy Seth Anderson

A Possible Broken Mirror Book?

Rish here.  Today I came up with an idea for a story, or rather, a premise that a whole series of stories could possibly be written about.*  I immediately called Big up, intent on telling him my idea and asking him what he thought.  He did not answer.

So, I went to work.  At work, I thought a bit more about the premise, fleshed it out a little bit in my head, and during lunch, fired up my laptop to go to town on this thing.  I typed "In a small Idaho town, there is a hotel or bed and breakfast where, once a y--"

Then my laptop's battery went out and it shut down.  I was pretty sure it had a charge when I left, but ah well.  So I grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down the rest of my idea.  It seemed exciting to me, and I thought it would be fun not only to write a story based on this premise, but see if others would want to do it too.  Before I went back to work, I listed six or seven possible tales one could write based on this.

Immediately after work, I called Big whilst getting into my car to pitch the idea to him.  We could do a sort of Broken Mirror Story Event with this premise and let people send us stories, which we could publish as a book, or produce as an audiobook, or podcast as episodes in October or something.  While I was describing it to him, I began to fear that it was a bad idea, though, and that nothing would come of it, and I would end up feeling depressed that nobody but me cared, and realize the meaningless of life so fully that I could never enjoy anything again.

Big thought that maybe I should write it as my novel this summer, just take all six or seven story ideas and work them together in an abomination like Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book."  I did not fancy that idea, and got the impression he too found my premise to be weak, and thought I maybe should never write again.

But then he brought up the idea of doing a Kickstarter campaign for the book, getting people onboard to support the project, and see who might be interested in helping us or collaborating with us.  He suggested Tom Tancredi, our biggest fan.  I suggested Marshal Latham, who recently did a successful Kickstarter for his own show.  Announcer Man suggested I stick my junk in a light socket.

The problem with me and ambition is, it doesn't stick around very long.  If I don't follow up on something immediately, my passion begins to cool and it is soon forgotten,  Kind of like this novel I'm supposed to be writing right now.  So I told Big what I wanted to do (present the sandbox I was inviting others to play in by writing an initial short story that explains the premise and "the rules," and come up with amusing incentives for people who back our campaign), and what I didn't want to do (figure out how a fudgin' Kickstarter works, try and badger people for money, contact and pester people about sending us their stories, and try and motivate B.D. Anklevich--akin to getting Fred J. Dukes off of a toilet in the morning).  I wanted to excitedly present my story idea, go off and write my own, then oversee the submissions that come in, maybe make a suggestion here or there so they all feel like they're in the same world.

We considered doing a Kickstarter years ago, and didn't do it.  We considered publishing a "Best of the Dunesteef" collection years ago, and didn't do it.  We recorded a final episode of the show where we air our grievances and cite our highlights, and never aired that show.  But my thought is, if we did either of the first two things, we'd find it all the easier to do it a second time, and maybe springboard off that success with a bigger, ambitiouser project.  Stranger things have happened.

This is something I still want to do.  Tomorrow, I may feel differently, but right now, I'm almost to the point where I'd like to start writing my story right now, to heck with the doubts and reservations.  I was going to post on Facebook and see if anyone else was interested . . . and I'd do it right now.  I told Big that I was like a husband who discovers in the night that he's eager to have sex.  He awakens his wife and lets her know that, with her or alone, he's gonna do some sexification.  Big did not find my metaphor quite as charming, I fear.

He also told me that, if I was so smart, what would we call this little project?

I told him not to worry, that that's what I do, it's what I live for, to help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself.  And that I'd have a kickass title in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Shake.  Shake.

So, my project is called . . . "Dead and Breakfast."

I fortunately know a little magic.  It's a talent that I always have possessed.

So, now I'm going to get some actual work done.  Tomorrow, maybe this idea (and that title) won't sound quite so ingenious.  That happens a lot, from time to time, nearly constantly, on occasion.  But if you're reading this and you'd like to encourage me, or volunteer to do something from cover art to promotion to writing a story to donation support, well, let me know in the comments.  The life you save may be your own.

Rish Outfield, A Very Busy Woman and I Haven't Got All Day

*I did something similar a year or two ago, actually writing two of them, and then sharing them with, you guessed it, absolutely nobody.

Rish's Story "Miss Fortune" in the Masters of the Macabre Contest

This is five years in a row I've entered the Masters of the Macabre contest over at HorrorAddicts.net.  I find it hard to believe I've been doing it that long (and that I've lost every one), but the second you win, the contest is closed to you, and this may be my year.

This time, they wanted us to write an audio drama for the 2015 contest, and to have at least two different voices participating.  I called mine "Miss Fortune," and it turned out to be easier to write than anything in recent memory.  I still spent a long time on the audio editing, including sound effects, homemade foley, music, and both Renee Chambliss' AND my niece's voices.

We were all given a tarot card from the Major Arcana that had to be worked into the story, and we were all given a monster the story would feature/be about.  I got a double-whammy in that I know nothing about the Tarot (including "The Hermit," which was the card I got) and just as much about "The Rawhead," which was my monster.

In British folklore, The Rawhead was a kind of bogeyman, who would snatch up disobedient children if they, say, forgot to curtsy to the upper class, or made eye contact with an unmarried member of the opposite sex without a proper chaperon, or ended a sentence with a preposition.  In America (particularly the Deep South), the Raw Head and Bloody Bones, as they call it, is a legendary monster made up of pig remains that stalks the night, or perhaps vegetarian restaurants.

Here be yon link:
https://horroraddicts.wordpress.com/2015/06/26/wicked-women-writers-challenge-masters-of-macabre-contest-vote-now/

You can go to their website and listen to the entries, and if you like mine best, feel free to vote for it.  If not, there's always next year.

Rish Outfield, Bator of the Macabre

TGMG 158: Community - A Bird's-eye View

When the weather got warm, Big and Rish went on a hike. With no agenda, Big wanted to talk about "Community." This is pretty much live, only editing out the racial slurs.

Oh, sorry about the mix-up in episode order. This was supposed to drop first, but somebody made an executive decision.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "Time To Say Goodnight" on the Drabblecast

Rish here.  You know the Drabblecast, right?  Strange stories for strange listeners, like yourself?  It's been either a pleasure or an honor to lend my voice to their episodes for more than five years now, and this week, I'm in the driver's seat, narrating "Time To Say Goodnight" by Caroline Yoachim.

It wouldn't be Drabblecast if the story wasn't odd, but this one, about a little girl who learns about death from her (sentient?) mechanical pets, is odder than my usual.  Despite the outlandish premise, the story is told 100% straight, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was intended to produce a tear or two.

I don't know why I was chosen to narrate it, since the two main characters (and the author) are all female, but I felt honored Norm Sherman chose me to do a story on my own, and I got to do a number of voices, including talking toys.  Feel free to check it out at THIS LINK.

Check out this ridiculously high-quality episode art, while you're at it:

TGMG 159: Podcasting - The (Ugly) Truth

This is something of a meta-cast about our shows and ourselves. Man, I really wanted this episode to come out before now. But that damned Avengers movie . . . sigh.

Okay, this is what they used to call "a very special episode" of Blossom. We're gonna talk, Big and me, about how things really are, when it comes to our writing, and when it comes to our podcasts (together and apart). An intimate conversation, as though no one else was listening. This shit may get real.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "Caul" on Far-Fetched Fables

Gary Dowell over at Far-Fetched Fables has had me do a couple of stories recently, and one of them, "Caul" by Vajra Chandrasekera, is now up for your wistening peasure.

This is a nice, though strange, little story about a young man who was born with a caul (which he keeps in a jar in his closet), who has never been in the ocean.  The biggest challenge for me was how to say the author's name.

However, I do have to admit that I don't understand the story, especially its ending.  If you care to check it out HERE, and you "get it," please let me know.

Rish "Caul-less" Outfield

TGMG 157: That Gets My Age of Ultron

Oh, that movie came out. Sure you heard about it.

Big and Rish rushed out to see it, then they rushed to podcast about it. Spoilers abound, as well as gushing and nit-picking. See you on the other side.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "Kill Game" by Dean Wesley Smith Available at Audible.com

So, last year, I produced an audiobook for Dean Wesley Smith's "Dead Money." which was a Thriller/Mystery set in the high stakes world of Las Vegas poker tournaments.  In addition to its main characters, it presented a second group of characters that were all retired detectives who got together to play poker and work on various cold cases . . . the Cold Poker Gang.

Well, before I'd even finished "Dead Money," I got a message from D.W.S.'s agent asking if I was interested in producing the audio version of the first of the Cold Poker Gang books, "Kill Game."  Of course I said yes.

The members of the Cold Poker Gang are all, save one, men.  And this story deals with the one female member recruiting the others to investigate the long-past mysterious death of her estranged husband.  They start uncovering rocks and discovering clues, and the more they find, the stranger it all becomes.

Here's the LINK.

This was a short book.  So short, it makes me think I could write one someday (soon?).  It would be nice if these would sell a bunch of copies, but even if they don't, I spoke to Dean recently, and there are at least three books in the series already written.  So, you never know.

Rish

TGMG 156: The Podcast Without Fear

Big and Rish watch and discuss the first episode of "Daredevil," the Marvel Studios/Netflix collaboration that you have probably already finished.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "Technos" by E.C. Tubb on Audible.com

I finally got another of the "Dumarest of Terra" books produced, and it's available to buy on Audible.  In this, the seventh in the series, Earl Dumarest goes to farming planet Loam to seek a wise man who knows of Earth, and eventually ends up on its conquering planet of Technos, where he must flee from the authorities and seek out a woman with a photographic memory who may know the location of his homeworld.

"Technos" brings up several fascinating story elements--a planet where status is based on how everyone does on vocational/standardized tests, an unkillable toxic plant on an agricultural world that is encroaching on every farm (perhaps placed there by an enemy planet), a tribute of the poor citizens in which the wealthy elderly use their bodies for a chance to be young again, a sadistic scientist who develops elaborate mazes in which to test the intellect, physical prowess, and luck of the various prisoners he places in there, and a fear-obsessed, ageing ruler who sees betrayal and assassination at every turn.

The Link: http://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fantasy/Technos-Audiobook/B00WL4MJ2A/ref=a_search_c4_1_6_srTtl?qid=1429938316&sr=1-6

This was probably the smoothest, least-troubled Dumarest production I've done, and when I looked at my stats--feeling masochistic after misunderstanding the plot of 50 SHADES OF GREY--I discovered that the first Dumarest book "The Winds of Gath," is my biggest-selling audiobook.  So I guess I'd better get off my duff and start another of these.

Rish Outfield (of Terra)

P.S. Not really sure what's up with the cover art, but it's still better than what I could come up with.

Rish Performs "Drink To Me Only With Labyrinthian Eyes" on Pseudopod

Pseudopod is a horror fiction podcast that is, amazingly, over four hundred episodes long, hosted by the lord of hosts, Alisdair Stuart.  A couple of those episodes have, unfortunately, been tainted by my foul narrations, and this week's is one of them.

The story is--deep breath--"Drink To Me Only With Labyrinthine Eyes," written by Tom Ligotti.  As the title suggests, this was a bit of a throwback kind of story, reminding me of Poe--"The Tell-tale Heart," "The Cask of Amontillado," and most of all  "The Masque of the Red Death."

The narrator is an entertainer, a mesmerist, and I tried to sound like a cross between a showman and Vincent Price in an old Roger Corman Poe adaptation.  I tried to sound more classically old-fashioned in my narration, and the story was quite difficult to perform naturally, so check it out yourself to see if I succeeded.

Here's the link: http://pseudopod.org/2015/04/17/pseudopod-434-drink-to-me-only-with-labyrinthine-eyes/

Rish "Labyrinthine Arse" Outfield

That Gets My Goat 155: A Novel Approach

Rish talks about the writers symposium he attended, and he and Big discus the possibility of writing a novel this year.  And twins?

Also, the first appearance (and hopefully the last) of a new character on the show: California Rish!



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

TGMG 154: Because of A-Holes

It's another one of those rambling, whiny TGMGs like we used to have. Today, Rish and Big complain about A-holes, and the terrible waste of human creativity that is arrayed to thwart them.

Warning: may include some potty humor, or at least talk about potties, probably not all that humorous.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive. Photo courtesy medilldc

That Gets My Goat 153: You're Getting Old

-

Welcome back to the kind of TGMG we used to have, where Rish and Big complain about something!  This time, it's about aging and the body's refusal to do what it used to.  And, at no extra cost, rainy, staticky, terrible sound!

Warning: may include some Louis CK.


Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Narrates "The Early Conundrums" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch on Audible

Recently I got the chance to produce the audio for a collection of Kristine Rusch's "Spade/Paladin Conundrum" stories, which I had done the audio versions of individually.  I was excited at the prospect of repackaging work and maybe getting paid even more for it (which seems likely, since people might pay for a four-plus hour audiobook, but wouldn't for an hour long one.

Within a couple of days, I had the whole thing done.  It contains a new introduction by the author (which was oddly enjoyable to record, since it reminds me of the Dunesteef and my own author's notes), and the five extant Spade/Paladin stories, "Stomping Mad," "The Case of the Vanishing Boy," "The Karnikov Card," "Pandora's Box," and "Trick or Treat."

It's available at this link.  Hopefully this sells well and Rusch writes more of these convention detective stories.  Then THOSE could be collected as well!

Rish Narrates "Dead Money" by Dean Wesley Smith available on Audible

I have been able to produce audio versions of several pieces by Kristine Kathryn Rusch (with one more on the way soon), and I may have impressed (or at least pleased) her agent, because she offered me a book my Rusch's husband, Dean Wesley Smith.

"Dead Money" is a Mystery/Action-Adventure novel about a professional Poker player whose estranged father, also a professional Poker player, dies under mysterious circumstances, and discovers a conspiracy and cover-up that goes all the way to the highest levels . . . nearly all elements of which also play Poker.  Someone is murdering gamblers for various keys they possess, but what do those keys unlock, and who would take such deadly steps to obtain them?

Dean Wesley Smith writes a blog full of advice for would-be writers that has been extraordinarily useful to both me and my cohort B.D. Anklevich.  The man is very opinionated, but a lot of what he says there motivates me to put out my work, so it's kind of nice to return the favor, so to speak.

Here is a link to the audiobook.  Check it out, if ye like.

Rish "Dead Monkey" Outfield

Rish Performs "Older Wiser Time Traveler" on Far-fetched Fables

If you're like me, then you often pick your nose, even when you have a handkerchief nearby.  Also if you're like me, you really enjoy time travel stories. 

I got to narrate one recently for the Far-fetched Fables podcast.  It's a short story about two time travelers having a conversation.  It's called "Older Wiser Time Traveler," by M. Bennardo.

Here's the link: http://farfetchedfables.com/far-fetched-fables-no-44-john-d-brown-and-matthew-bennardo/

Podcasts are cool.

TGMG 152: The First of Two Parts

Hey kids, remember when each episode of "That Gets My Goat" consisted of Rish complaining to Big about something he didn't like? Well, you're in for a flashback from the rash-sack! In today's episode, Rish complains about the new(ish) trend of turning one movie into two movies (or worst, three). To be conti--



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

That Gets My Goat 151: Viva La Resolution!

So, Rish and Big have finally gotten together again, and in honor of the New Year, they look ahead and make a couple of goals.  Wish them luck. 

Indeed, wish yourself luck while you're at it.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Rish Performs "So You've Decided To Adopt A Zeptonian Baby" on Podcastle

This may be the last time I get to appear on PodCastle, the Fantasy Fiction Podcast, but I'm happy to have been able to read a story as part of their superhero flash fiction special this week.  Along with Mur Lafferty reading "The Sea City Six (Where Are They Now?)" and Sean D. Sorrentino reading "The Colors," I got to do the short piece "So You've Decided To Adopt A Zeptonian Baby" by David Steffen.

Host/editor of PodCastle, Dave Thompson has been very friendly toward me for the last little while, even mentioning that his kids listen to my performance of "The Christmas Mummy" every Rosh Hashanah, and I've appreciated the chance to appear on his show, which gets, oh, a million times as many listeners as my own.  Usually, he'll pick a story that he thinks I'll do a good job with (or an amusing job, at least), and this was no exception. 

"So You've Decided To Adopt" is a brief self-help instructional piece about the struggles parents of super-powered alien children are going to encounter.  After absolutely no deliberation, I decided to perform it in the voice of my favorite dead "Saturday Night Live" cast member.  Hopefully, somebody (besides me) will get a kick out of it.  Check it out at this link!

I do mention that this may be my last appearance on PodCastle because Dave Thompson recently announced he was stepping down from running PodCastle, to pursue his own endeavors, or raise his children, or spend a three-to-five stretch in jail.  Having tried my hand at podcasting a time or two, I have no earthly idea how someone could produce a weekly show the way he does, and it would be neat if he wanted me involved in whatever projects he goes on to do.

Except for the jail time.  I would never make it on the inside.

Rish Outfield

Rish as Commander Gant on "Star Trek: Outpost"

Rish here.  You know, I watched "Star Trek: The Next Generation" from the very first episode.  I noticed early on that every single character on that show eventually got their own episode, every single season, and in reading up, it was interesting how difficult it was for the writers to come up with an interesting spotlight episode on, say, Wesley, or Deanna Troi, or Doctor Crusher.  But they certainly did try.*  Perhaps they were eager to avoid the shortcomings of "The Original Series," where Uhura never had anything to do . . . ever(?).

I bring this up because, over the years, I have had the pleasure and difficulty of voicing the character of Commander Gant on "Star Trek: Outpost," which is a long-running serialized audio drama set in Roddenberry's universe.  It's an enormously elaborate and detailed show, with every episode running an hour or so, and airing on a pretty regular schedule.  And in the most recent episode, "What Price Survival," is as close as we've come to giving the Tellarite Gant his own show.

In this episode, Gant and another engineer beam over to a derelict spacecraft, and end up exposed to an alien life form of the type that the Enterprise(s) always seemed to run into: the kind that takes over the body of a crewman in order to express itself.  But what happens when that invader refuses to leave?  (I don't know; I receive these scripts, and the episodes are released about five minutes after I get my lines in)

Here's the link, if you'd like to check it out (though it is Episode 65, so . . .).

I never felt the Tellarites got enough screentime on any of the Star Treks, so it's been fun to see how many different ways the writers can make Gant argue or question orders, which is typical of his species, but would make him a huge pain in the arse to work with.

You may actually work with a Tellarite already, and not even realize it.

Rish

*Indeed, it's fair to say that every single character on TNG (with the possible exception of Captain Picard) got at least one bad episode during the show's seven year run.  And Equal Opportunity programme if there ever was one.

Rish's "A Lovely Singing Voice" Available on Amazon

Hey kids, did you read that sprawling tale I wrote last year called "A Lovely Singing Voice?"  Well, I've now got it up on Amazon/Kindle Store if you want to buy a copy.  I put it off until the ever-faithful Gino Moretto came through with some cover art.  And while no drawing can convey the sinister nature of Brekkyn Manion, his work was exactly what the doctor ordered.

As a reminder: ALSV is the story of Tanissa Gunn, who meets a spoiled, lonely girl while visiting her father over the summer.  While her dad is at work, Tanissa and Brekkyn get to know one another, and we discover that Brekkyn always gets whatever she wants . . . always.

Here is the link, along with the usual author's note at the end: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S31I64K.  Thanks!

Rish "Lovely Signing Voice" Outfield

P.S. No plans to do an audio version of this one.  Any suggestions?

Rish's story "The Pen Was Mightier on The Way of the Buffalo

Some time ago, I sent my short story "The Pen Was Mightier" over to Hugh O'Donnell and his podcast "The Way of the Buffalo," and this week, he wrote to tell me the story is up on his show.

This was a nice surprise.  TWOTB was the first place to run my story "Subtext," and Dave Robison's grand reading of my tale "Old Man River" is on there too.  His podcast has been around a while, this is his (Star Trekky) seventy-ninth episode, and I really ought to ask him if he needs a promo or a silly voice for his show.

"The Pen Was Mightier" is a light and silly tale about a writer who obtains a magic pen that creates only inspired art.  It's not hard to guess where I got the idea, but it's short, and it's cute, and it's available to listen to right here.  Thanks.

Rish "I'd like to hear more about the Penis Mightier" Outfield