A Black Mat Crosses Your Path

Rish here.  So, about a year ago, I challenged Big to write a story based on the premise of "evil floormats," based on a Facebook Marketplace listing I saw for some mats that were "Gently used."  You may not believe me now, but it struck me as very funny at the time.*

So, Big jumped on it, and quickly produced a story he titled "Pre-Owned" (with a truly creepy cover) about a dude named Clint that really needs to get rid of his car.  That one can be found  RIGHT HERE.

A long time later, I wrote my own version (long-time listeners of our podcast will remember we refer to these as Broken Mirror Story Events), about a guy named Jesse, who discovers that his luck takes a turn for the worse when he picks up a pair of gently used floormats.  My tale is called "Slightly Used, Mildly Cursed," and can be found at THIS LINK.

Check them out . . . what's the worst that could happen?

Note: I agonized over the title for this blogpost, trying to come up with a play on words involving Mats or Bats or Shats or Brats (I even considered "Mats All, Folks!"), and the best I could do was refer to a 1999 documentary called "Beyond The Mat."  Sometimes beggars don't get to choose, kids.

*It may amaze you to hear, but people used to think it was funny when Steve Martin would say, "Well, excuuuuuuuuse me!"  Yeah, they really did.  

The Female Protagonist Speaks!

Rish here.  All four versions of my "Female Protagonist" collection are available to purchase.

I'm not great at promoting my own work, but this is a collection of stories with girl or women main characters (and the first volume, at that), which include Once again, the contents of this particular collection are "A Lovely Singing Voice," "Roll With The Changes," "Office Visit," "A Gallon A Day," "Run Away," "Creature Feature," "My Funny Valentine," "Winter Break," and "Remember the Future," as well as their author's notes (if people enjoy listening to them).

Plus, it's the only place I'll be releasing my performance of "A Gallon A Day," since it's a first person female story (which may sound odd, though I do do my best).

The audio version is over nine hours long, and it's available HERE on Audible.

If you'd rather buy it for a Kindle, phone, or tablet, it's HERE. 

If you prefer a paperback version, go HERE.  

And for the crazy ones, there's a hardcover available HERE.

Thanks for looking (and listening)!

Big n' Rish's Voices on Journey Into...'s "With A Banjo On My Knee"

Recently, Marshal Latham had a rather diabolical writing contest over at the Journey Into... podcast, call the Quordel Quell.  Each entrant was given four words, generated by a game of Quordel, that we were supposed to craft a story around.  After a lot of struggle, Rish submitted a story called "With A Banjo On My Knee," which tells of Garrett McClaren's discovery of a banjo that seems to have an unusual, maybe even magical effect on people.

Well, Marshal has created a production of that story over on the Journey Into... podcast, and it's available now, if you'd like to listen to it.  He went nuts with full-cast (again), and there are a bunch of familiar faceless voices in this one, like Dave Thompson, Rene Chambliss, Gino Moretto, Bria Burton, and both Big and Rish.  

Feel free to check it out HERE.

Big & Marshal Join The Rish Outcast (Be Careful What You Wish For)

It was only fair--Big Anklevich and Marshal "The Mauler" Latham have appeared on Rish's Outcast, presenting the third (and final) installment of the "Be Careful What You Wish For" crossover.

This one is called "Fountain of Knowledge," and even though Rish does whatever he can not to talk about the story, it's based on an experience he had in junior high Algebra class.  Check it out HERE.

Big's Voice on Rish's Story on Journey Into...

So, a year back, Marshal Latham held a story contest on his Journey Into... podcast, and Rish sent him a story called "Troubled Child."  Now, somehow, it's been presented as one of the winners on his show.  

Rish's Sketch "Tell Me Once Again Who's Bad" on DoG

 Rish here.  If you like my Star Wars fandom or my sketch comedy, you might like them both, in this month's "Star Wars: Delusions of Grandeur" podcast.  Marshal and I talk about the calm before the Mandalorian storm, then run my sketch about an Imperial officer answering his two children's questions about what he does for a living.  

It's called "Tell Me Once Again Who's Bad," and you can check it out HERE.

"Daughter Death Star Day" on Delusions of Grandeur

Rish here.  This month, if I can get it done, we'll have two episodes of Delusions of Grandeur.  But the first is right here, where Marshal Latham and I talk about "Clone Wars," the ROGUE ONE audio commentary (plague edition!), McClunky, and I present my lil Star Wars sketch "Daughter Death Star Day."

In it, I imagine the hilarity of Bring Your Daughter To Work Day on Tarkin's space station.  Of course, your hilarity mileage may vary.

Check it out RIGHT HERE!

Rish's Story "The Sleeping Princess Wakes" On Delusions of Grandeur

Rish here.  Two years ago, I shared a story about young Luke Skywalker, "Beggar's Canyon," on both my own show and the "Star Wars: Delusions of Grandeur" podcast I do with Marshal Latham.  This was right before THE FORCE AWAKENS came out.  And following that tradition, I've got a similar story presented on the show, "The Sleeping Princess Wakes," which we're releasing right before THE LAST JEDI does its thing.

This story, which I talked about in 2015 but wasn't ambitious enough to write, tells a vignette about the teenaged Leia Organa, when she first meets Grand Moff Tarkin, and the seeds of rebellion that are planted within her.   It's fan-fiction, sure, but I hope it's enjoyable, quality fan-fiction.

Anyway, head on over to the Journey Into... website, where the DOG podcast (as Marshal and I affectionately call it) resides, and hear my reading of it, as well as our discussion afterward.  If you dig it, there may be more to come.

Rish's Second Audio Collection

Rish here.  So, I've been trying to put out my audio recordings in collections, so people can buy them.  A novel idea, I know.  This was my first one.

Well, the second volume is out there, just waiting for some non-discerning listener to buy it. I got my pal Gino Moretto to do the cover art for this collection too, and while it's not the same as the first one, I feel they have a relation, a thematic consistency.

So, this particular collection consists of an Introduction and

Say Uncle

A Slight Delay

Touching

Unique Combination

All Night Gas

The Awful Tale of the Minnesota Diarrhea Ghost

New Year’s Day

Unpleasant Sensation

Dead Letter

Subtext

Quiddler’s Menagerie

Rest Stop

Overtaken

Leap of Faith

Last Call

Discovery

On Dusty Wings

Greetings from the Ninth Sector

Some of these stories have been heard before, and some are extended or revised versions, and there are a couple flash fiction pieces not available anywhere else.

I already have a story or three in mind for a third collection, but it'll be a while.  Ambition comes scarce around here. 

Buy the collection here!   And thanks.

Rish Outfield, Audio Dood

Rish's First Audio Collection

Hey kids, currently available exclusively on Audible.com is "The Calling: The Audio Fiction of Rish Outfield Volume One." 

It's a collection of a dozen or so short stories, narrated by me, and all together in one place.  It also includes a couple of irritating pieces unavailable anywhere else (I believe this was Big's idea, who used to tell me I was wasting my time when I'd write microfiction, unless, as he put it, "you put it into a story collection as a sort of bonus track").

The collection includes an Introduction and:

Stormy Weather  
A Difficult Age
The Cemetery Tale 
Lost and Found 
Brighted 
MagiClaw 
Unconventional 
Sleeptalkin' Gal 
Passing Notes 
Last Night of Freedom 
Trick 
Memory Lane 
The Calling 

 The tiny stories are in italics.

 My pal Gino Moretto created the cover for me . . . and look at that little "volume 1."  What do you think of that?   I will one day get to work on the next volume, trying to include older and brand-new recordings.

In the meantime, check it out if you get the notion.  I know you'll get to like it if you give a chance now.

 Yeah, that was from The Locomotion, what about it?

 Rish Outfield, Audio Dork

Rish's Book "A Sidekick's Journey" Available On Amazon

Have you read my story "Birth of a Sidekick?"  It's the Western tale B.D. Anklevich called "Pretty good," and other such raves.

Well, here's the sequel: "A Sidekick's Journey."

Not to be confused with "A Sidekick's Night Ranger."  That's still forthcoming.

BoaS told the story of Benny Parks, an orphan boy chosen to be the sidekick to a Western hero, only to have disaster strike.  ASJ picks up where that one left off, with Ben stuck in a small Arizona town, a better life than he had in the orphanage, but still not where he wanted to be.  But when a veiled stranger rides in, Ben gets a second chance at his dream.

As soon as I'd published it, I went and treated myself to an overpriced milkshake.  The book is now available for purchase, and I would be pleased if you bought it (only two copies sold would pay for that milkshake).  I'd even be pleased if you stole it, though also curious how you managed that.  You can find it on Amazon at THIS LINK.

One neat thing about this series, which I suppose I'm calling Sidekick Chronicles," is that when I first met Ben Parks, it was 2005, he's still the same age.  Seems like magic to me.

Oh, and I can't wait to share "A Sidekick's Bon Jovi" with you in 2017.

Rish Stories To Be Had

Rish here.  There are a couple items of mine you can check out and/or buy, if you're of a mind.

This tells about a young man on a long space voyage, sending messages home to his soon-to-be-worried fiance. "Greetings from the Ninth Sector" is already out there as an episode of the Dunesteef, as my entry in the Triple Word Score contest, but this is the original, lengthier version.  Is it superior?  Well, I think so, but of course I'd say that.

Here's your link on Smashwords: www.smashwords.com/books/view/634928 (yeah, I'm trying that one again).

"Unique Combination" is a little tale that was my half of a recent Broken Mirror-type prompt between Big and me: A group of boys mix together a Suicide (all the soda fountain flavors at the same time) . . . with surprising results.  I've not read Big's take on the idea, but maybe he'll put his out there too.

Check it out here: www.smashwords.com/books/view/637834

"Rest Stop" is another short story, this one about a newly-divorced man leaving town in a pickup truck, with his trusty dog beside him.  But he chooses the wrong place to pull off on the side of the road.

Here this one is on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Stop-Rish-Outfield-ebook/dp/B018NSYWNG

And here's one more.  "Like A Good Neighbor" was a story I wrote a couple of years back with the intention of running it on the Dunesteef.  It's a bit of a long story, but the actress we had in mind for the main character was never heard from again.  The story is about a girl who discovers that her next door neighbor is not what she seems.  Or is exactly what she seems, if Old Widow Holcomb seems to be a witch.

 You can scoop this up here: www.amazon.com/Like-Good-Neighbor-Rish-Outfield-ebook/dp/B01G071R80

As you know, it's hard for me to do this self-promotion thing, and I don't do it often.  But feel free to buy any or all of these, and I'd appreciate it.

Unca Rish

Rish's Story "Stormy Weather" Available on Amazon & Audible

A story I wrote, and never published, is available to buy, if you're feeling curious.  Or only generous.

It's called "Stormy Weather," and is set in a little farming town about to be hit by a big snowstorm.  Jeremy Cooper, the mayor, gathers the entire community together where they will be safe, but it seems he forgot about Ugly Trudy Pitter . . . the one town citizen he is afraid of.

This is one of several stories I hope to release over the next few months, and you can either purchase the text version on Amazon (www.amazon.com/Stormy-Weather-Rish-Outfield-ebook/dp/B01ECZVZY8) or the audio version I performed over at Audible.com (http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Stormy-Weather-Audiobook/B01F73ZW4I).

As always, thanks for your support!

Rish's Story "Lost & Found" Available on Amazon and Audible

I recently resolved to publish more of my work, and at least try to get some of those "lost" stories out of my Magical Notebooks and make them available to purchase.  This month's entry is "Lost & Found."

It tells the story of ten year old Will Choner, who has an unusual ability, one he has been forbidden to use.  One day, his Uncle Armin comes to the house, hoping Will will use his power to find a lost girl.  But first he has to convince Will's mother to let her son try.

You can find it for sale on Amazon it at this link.  Or, if you want it in audio, I narrate the story over at Audible at this other link.

I think the story is pretty good.  Maybe you would too.  Let me know if you dig it, and would like a second tale involving Will.  I currently have no plans to write a follow-up, but stranger things have happened.

Rish's Story "A Slight Delay" on the Journey Into...Podcast

Hey kids, Rish here.  Remember my story "A Slight Delay?"

It was a story I wrote a couple of years back about an airplane stuck on the tarmac, and a guy in a bunny suit. If you don't, Marshal Latham has made it available on his "Journey Into..." podcast, along with a creepy little thinkpiece (called "What Price Convenience") by Christopher Munroe.

Marshal has always been supportive of my writing, and both my and Big's voices are in both stories, so check it out. Here's the link.

Rish and Big's Voices In "Beggar's Canyon" at Delusions of Grandeur

Earlier this year, Rish wrote a Luke Skywalker story for use on the Star Wars: Delusions of Grandeur podcast.  It's called "Beggar's Canyon," and tells about Luke at age fourteen on the desolate world of Tatooine.  Marshal Latham did a full-cast production of it, along with music and sound effects, and it's available to listen to.*

Voices include Big Anklevich, Marshal, Bria Burton, Julie Hoverson, Johnny Feisty, and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.  Check it out here, boys and girls!

*But for how long?  For . . . how long?

Rish's Story "Miss Fortune" in the Masters of the Macabre Contest

This is five years in a row I've entered the Masters of the Macabre contest over at HorrorAddicts.net.  I find it hard to believe I've been doing it that long (and that I've lost every one), but the second you win, the contest is closed to you, and this may be my year.

This time, they wanted us to write an audio drama for the 2015 contest, and to have at least two different voices participating.  I called mine "Miss Fortune," and it turned out to be easier to write than anything in recent memory.  I still spent a long time on the audio editing, including sound effects, homemade foley, music, and both Renee Chambliss' AND my niece's voices.

We were all given a tarot card from the Major Arcana that had to be worked into the story, and we were all given a monster the story would feature/be about.  I got a double-whammy in that I know nothing about the Tarot (including "The Hermit," which was the card I got) and just as much about "The Rawhead," which was my monster.

In British folklore, The Rawhead was a kind of bogeyman, who would snatch up disobedient children if they, say, forgot to curtsy to the upper class, or made eye contact with an unmarried member of the opposite sex without a proper chaperon, or ended a sentence with a preposition.  In America (particularly the Deep South), the Raw Head and Bloody Bones, as they call it, is a legendary monster made up of pig remains that stalks the night, or perhaps vegetarian restaurants.

Here be yon link:
https://horroraddicts.wordpress.com/2015/06/26/wicked-women-writers-challenge-masters-of-macabre-contest-vote-now/

You can go to their website and listen to the entries, and if you like mine best, feel free to vote for it.  If not, there's always next year.

Rish Outfield, Bator of the Macabre

Rish's "A Lovely Singing Voice" Available on Amazon

Hey kids, did you read that sprawling tale I wrote last year called "A Lovely Singing Voice?"  Well, I've now got it up on Amazon/Kindle Store if you want to buy a copy.  I put it off until the ever-faithful Gino Moretto came through with some cover art.  And while no drawing can convey the sinister nature of Brekkyn Manion, his work was exactly what the doctor ordered.

As a reminder: ALSV is the story of Tanissa Gunn, who meets a spoiled, lonely girl while visiting her father over the summer.  While her dad is at work, Tanissa and Brekkyn get to know one another, and we discover that Brekkyn always gets whatever she wants . . . always.

Here is the link, along with the usual author's note at the end: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S31I64K.  Thanks!

Rish "Lovely Signing Voice" Outfield

P.S. No plans to do an audio version of this one.  Any suggestions?

Rish's story "The Pen Was Mightier on The Way of the Buffalo

Some time ago, I sent my short story "The Pen Was Mightier" over to Hugh O'Donnell and his podcast "The Way of the Buffalo," and this week, he wrote to tell me the story is up on his show.

This was a nice surprise.  TWOTB was the first place to run my story "Subtext," and Dave Robison's grand reading of my tale "Old Man River" is on there too.  His podcast has been around a while, this is his (Star Trekky) seventy-ninth episode, and I really ought to ask him if he needs a promo or a silly voice for his show.

"The Pen Was Mightier" is a light and silly tale about a writer who obtains a magic pen that creates only inspired art.  It's not hard to guess where I got the idea, but it's short, and it's cute, and it's available to listen to right here.  Thanks.

Rish "I'd like to hear more about the Penis Mightier" Outfield

Rish's story "Sleeptalkin' Gal" available on Amazon and Audible

A certain podcasting partner of mine has a wife who talks in her sleep (or she wakes and chats, but not enough to actually remember the conversations).  After hearing about this, the story "Sleeptalkin' Gal" was born.

 

If you'd like to check it out, it's available to read and to listen to.*  Feel free to pick up a copy over at Amazon (here), or the audio version through Audible (here).

Rish "Sleepgawkin' Boy" Outfield

*The coloring book version is still at the printer's.