Friend o' the show, Lizanne Herd does some kind of twisted online game show called "Guru Showdown," in which she is the Animal Guru. If you defeat her, you live. If she defeats you, she gets to decide what animal in her menagerie you are fed to.
For some reason, I ended up a contestant on their latest show, which can be found here.
Turns out a rhinocerous horn is made of hair, not nouget.
Liz mentioned afterward that I sounded uncomfortable and nervous. Well, I don't know if I was nervous, but I certainly wasn't funny, and I was thoroughly thrashed by the competition most of the time. If you care to give it a listen, check it out at www.gurushowdown.com.
Perhaps we can get Big on there as a contestant in the near future. That' oughtta wipe that smile off his smug face.
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